22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22)
As a single millennial, marriage fascinated me. I remember spending hours at local coffee shops and moon lit walks discussing this cultural phenomenon. Like many things, you can never understand marriage without walking into it first. Experience is indeed the greatest of teachers. Years of trying to make people fit into our lives or changing to fit into theirs can teach us of God’s control and man’s burden. We are not meant to find the “one” as much as to be the “one”. While God gives and takes, we must continue to pursue and create something beautiful and independent of anyone else.
As I walk toward marriage I realize that regardless of cliche sentiment, God truly is a good Father. As such, He wishes to bless His kids. Sometimes this blessing is easy to recognize, like a bride, and other times it looks downright cruel, like the crushed spirit of a broken heart. His favor resounds in the beauty and the brokenness. For our Lord is by nature love, and that love manifests in everything He touches. Nothing is wasted.
Many within the Church give the advice of “putting God first” in your relationship. This is well meaning, but not very practical. In our pragmatic minds, we simply want a step by step blueprint to buck the trend of divorce. Perhaps what is needed is an unflinching gaze toward each other and a humble recognition of the blessing that is before you even when it looks like pain. Perhaps worship is seeing those in our lives as God given. In them we see our Father. Maybe putting God first is loving like He loves in every ascension and argument.
So today is the day. I forsake the safety of my singleness and embrace the danger of marriage, knowing that nothing is certain in this life but the beautiful danger of a tethered heart is worth the risk. No one is guaranteed a storybook life, and no one should wish for it, for God calls us to something so much richer. May the simple love of Christ carry us through this complex life and may we never stop adoring our blessings.
9 You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes, with a single jewel of your necklace. (Song of Solomon 4:9)
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