Lessons From the Valley

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens – Ecclesiastes 3:1

This has been a difficult season for many. It will take years before we can truly calculate the toll this year has had on many. Yet, anecdotally we all have stories of mental health challenges, job loss, illness, and strife. While many voices are shouting agains panic and fear, we would be best served to feel this time fully, to wrap our arms around the unknown. Emotions are alarms, one simply cannot ignore them and hope they disappear.

There is a season for fear / A season for worry / A season for frustration

Feel What You Feel

And while these are true feelings, and ones we must not fear to gaze upon from time to time, we can also look at what these teachers may be gifting us. Life lessons are rarely comfortable and often messy. The worst of the human experience is often the most profound. Given enough time, we can sometimes pull ourselves far enough out of our experience to see the higher horizon. It is easy to shout “don’t worry” from the mountaintop. It is an entirely different matter to feel such worry, such doubt, from the valley.

Fear is not a bad emotion, in fact it is an essential component of healing and growth. Oftentimes it doesn’t come out as we expect it to, yet it will always retreat from our soul when given the chance. Questionable online posts, rallying against a people group, anger toward systems or large entities, are all current ways this fear manifests itself. I often find myself feeling sorrow for the different “tribes” of people in this combustible climate. Perhaps it is really not about masks, or political party, or freedom. Maybe it is just fear of the unknown, of an uncertain time, coming out in peculiar ways.

Give Yourself Grace

Far be it from I to flaunt any wisdom from these times, for I am as you, yet I do feel to have had a few glimpses of some sort of meaning, or put differently, some sort of holy exchange between the travails of this life and those just beyond the heavens. In such times of forced isolation, we must be our own champion – our biggest fans – if we wish to survive. While this is a surreal time, it is also a time of grace. Sure, there are many who are raging at the sun and cursing the present conditions, most of us feel patience with each other and any trouble they may have slipped into. The countless virtual meetings I have had recently have taught me that matters of appearance and Zoom bombing 3 year olds/cats are easily forgivable. Deadlines are more flexible and mental health is more in the forefront. If we can provide others with such professional courtesy, what is stopping us from sharing that same grace to ourselves?

Show Empathy to All

Speaking of grace, it seems to be in short supply. Regardless of the shocking numbers of infections, deaths, and ironclad science of how to mitigate, there are still many who have sought only their own freedom. It is absolutely heartbreaking that anyone would look at this pandemic with anything besides deep compassion. Yet, in all of this, we must remember the peculiar output of fear. Sometimes this can look like staunch obstinance to common decency.

What if those who question the validity of the virus are those who are actually most scared of it?

What if this is how they deal with an unprecedented year?

Sure, it may not excuse their lack of empathy, but it does help us to put their hardened heart in perspective. This time is difficult for everyone. To openly hate, belittle, and mock is rarely the answer to a greater peace. Contrast lies with truth and condemnation with grace. For your own sanity.

Don’t Be Afraid to Leave Some Behind

When things return to how they were before, or at least similar to how they were before, do not be afraid to leave something behind. The resilence and need that this year exposed, should be what helps us to determine what is temporal, and what is worth keeping. Pre-pandemic pleasures, pre-pandemic relationships, pre-pandemic lifestyles, may seem unnecessary if not a little silly after all of this. In times of stress, we cling to what matters. This time may have refined our goals, habits, and focus. Let it.

A closing word to the spiritual

If you have some sense of “God” or belief in this, years like these can be redeemed. Without a doubt, times have been difficult, and great suffering has plagued our country. Yet, like many theologians say, God keeps his choicest wines in the cellar of our suffering. We, as humans, do not like this. We understandably rather be comfortable than to live with such uncertainty. But there is no denying that our character and our achievements, have all been forged out of great adversity. I wish it wasn’t so, but perhaps the best tools to handle such difficulty are introspection and a quiet soul. When problems fall deep, our soul must fall deeper. I have found in my own journey, that God speaks best within the still chaos of a difficult matter. Maybe we need to be broken before we can be remade. This requires us to listen to both the silence and the times. Blessed with less distraction can help us do some needed soul work, while the mountain of headlines and current events can help us see a bigger story.

Good luck, friend. This is a trying time, but you can make it through. May you grow in empathy. May your soul find peace in this.