Part of my newfound career is teaching students what is defined as “risk avoidance”. While a surprising 88% of teens do not partake in such behavior (alcohol, smoking, etc.), many of the students we work with are themselves in danger of such risks. The truth is, all students need tools to help them to choose the ultimate over the immediate. They deserve to be supported in following a dream bigger than their surroundings. Many of these “risky” behaviors can derail dreams, and our job as adults is to help guide and coach away from devastation and towards resilience. This requires patience and grace, establishing forgiveness and acceptance regardless of choices. This grace soars beyond decisions and sees the value of each child as something more than a sum of their actions.
It is important here to differentiate the space between risks. The risks we focus on are typically the ones with negative consequences. These are relatively easy to define and point out. Yet, we still want to grow kids who are not only fearless in the face of risk – ultimately equipped in critical thinking – but also who are capable of taking a healthy amount of risk.
It is a risk to shake off the negative influences in your life
It is a risk to choose the academic over the popular
It is a risk to ask for help
It is a risk to follow your heart and passion
Life typically rewards those who take regular healthy risks, with or without payout. Perhaps the greatest lessons are those learned from these excursions into the unknown. How much can you truly know about yourself if you don’t take a risk? The results seem almost inconsequential (speaking in the healthy lane of risk of course).
If you are a parent, this can be especially tough. So much of our instinct flies in the face of such resilience building risk. We take our role of protection seriously and prefer to error on the side of undisturbed peace. Yet, we know this is not best. Convenient, yes, but not in the overall well-being of our kids. In the deluge of parenting advice I was given when my son was born, there is one piece that stands out. My doctor and mother of two boys told me unexpectedly to “let your kids suffer from time to time.” Like the word “risk”, the verbiage of “suffer” spews thoughts of heartache and fear. What my doctor was telling me was to be careful not to rob my children of the lessons found only on the other side of suffering. This of course is not the toxic masculinity of some fathers (“rub some dirt on it”, “stop crying”, “be a man”, etc.) but something more intentional and loving; something Godly.
Unfortunately as parents and teachers we cannot shield those in our care from the pain in this world. We can, however, teach them resilience and a greater love beyond. My doctor could have just as easily said not to waste the suffering of my son. In love, and with grace, instruct and comfort in the pain. This is the only way they feel supported enough to freely risk.
Risk away.
Matt simon blog 