We carry a spirit within our chest that changes daily. Today, I am acutely aware of my being. Amidst the shining rays of sun peeking in and out of cloud cover, my soul weighs a little more than usual. There is no particular reason, but I recognize its fog and burn. On days like this, I find it difficult to write. These spirits so easily pour into my fingers as I muster some sort of screened documentation. It is crucial to listen to what our spirit tells us – to frame who we are from day to day. These points of light and darkness so readily show who we are daily and shapes our days.
All we are is a response. Today is an action responding to something else. These reactions have feelings behind them.
We are happy for the sun
and melancholy because it never lasts.
Our identity is shaped like this. Events are the waters that rise and dissipate our spirits. Who we are is a summation things done by us and to us.
“Who Am I?” is the perhaps the most important question we can ask. Without knowing ourselves, we can never truly move along in this life. That is not to say this question is answerable. It is definitely the mythical white whale at times, but perhaps the continued striving inward is where we become whole. It is the people who take this honest gaze seriously that find more than they expect, or at times, can handle. The mirror is what finds our blemishes, our struggle, our lacking. The mirror brings a certain humility, if we let it. But in the end, there is something, more of a feeling inside, that reveals our state of being.
In theology, these questions takes on a whole new shape. Modern evangelicalism can sum our condition up with an often misunderstood blanket label called “sin”. We are essentially sinners, depraved by nature, and this is where we end. Perhaps this is done to feign a spirit of humility, but mainly it classifies us as needing a spiritual intervention. The mistaken thought is that if we are not a complete mess, we wouldn’t need an Other to intervene. Perhaps those of this mindset should explore more deeply their bruised nature, not to excuse, but to understand that which lurks in all of us. Spirits of denial and justification are carried by us all and by studying ourselves, one could say that they are studying God and His fingerprints of creation.
Today, ask yourself “how am I doing?” and make way for authenticity. This is the question that leads to a better “who am I?”
Matt simon blog 