Getting Older Means Waiting In Lines

I am convinced that growing older means standing in line longer for things you neither want or are all that excited for. When you’re young, you throw tantrums or patiently await something with youthful exuberance, but age slowly chisels much of the remaining excitement for whatever awaits the opposite end of the mass of people. As I wait with my fellow air conditioned herd, I resist the impulse to reach for my phone which seems to be burning within my left front pocket. The urge will only return in another twenty seconds or so but until then, I notice all the faces lit up with the glow of social statuses and movie times. I am trying to try to be more intentional, to be more present, more “here”. Anyone who has tried this for more than a few moments can attest to the difficulty of this exercise. After all, most of modern life was invented to keep that life at bay. We want to be distracted. We are fine with letting life pass us by slowly while our head is down. This is uniquely American.

I found in these moments of tuning in, that people have faces. They seem to matter more. I make up lives behind the clues they leave for me. The darting eyes, the nervous laugh, all remnants of a secret inner life no one else can see nor care to understand. I wonder if this is how Jesus became so skilled at reading people. I wonder if He simply let their unspoken traits betray them, listening to the hum of a soul longing for peace, longing to be known. I am trying to get better at recognizing heartbeats, at understanding the families, conflicts, and desires behind them and the reluctant hope that keeps time to their beating.

When we in the Church say we want to be Jesus to people, it doesn’t mean we get lost in grandeur. We do not have to come with answers and brilliant phrasing, only inviting and inquisitive eyes, a warm heart, and an open mind. What if being Jesus means simply being present in the boredom? Today, let’s be bored together. Let’s wait together for what’s next. Let’s be present in the mundane and the absurd. Maybe we’ll find God in this.