So it has been two months since I joined the fraternity of fathers. I have learned a few things along the way I would like to share with you, in case you are looking to father something like a human person or pet or small plant. Yet these insights, though not incredibly wise, are things I wish to be able to apply beyond the realm of parenthood and to life in general.
Showers are overrated – It is surprising how little things that I once enjoyed, are found to be incredibly difficult to find time for. It is as if the everyday events become ranked. Those which there are leeway in, become put off . . . . sometimes for a week. Don’t judge me.
There is no handbook to life or parenting – Yes, I have listened to those who came before me for sage like advice, but at the end of the day, parenting as with life, is about reacting. There are certain events you will never be prepared to handle (let’s say you are watching said tiny human and nature calls or you need an insulin shot). Necessity is the father of invention. Truer words were never spoken. Some days, you simply have to get up, punch in, and pray for grace.
Eventually, the 24 hour period expires – No matter how crazy each day is, it ends. All things, good and bad have an expiration date. For the past two months, essentially every day has been the same. Filled with the same routine and uncertainty. Yet, there are instances that you will want to check out. If you wait long enough, whatever period of stress too shall pass. There will always be another morning.
It takes a village – My mom raised me and my brother while balancing a mortgage and three jobs. To say this is incredible, is an understatement. We often had to rely on the kindness of strangers for meals and daycare. Meanwhile, in the Simon house, we are raising two kids while dealing with a cat with a strong affinity for destruction. We are blessed to have two parents in the home, but we are even more blessed to have a tribe of people who will step in at any moment. I have learned the hard way that life cannot be an island. God wired us for relationship with others, but more than that, He wired us to rely on each other in order to demonstrate the better way of the Gospel. Relationships are hard, but they are the key to mental health.
Worry is our worship – I fear that my anxiety levels have far surpassed my faith levels. When we examine the topics we spend our worry on, we find that those are the exact things we worship. Of course, a little worry can keep us vigilant, yet when Jesus said not to worry, He meant it. He knew that humanity will always be tempted to worship their worry and justify it by calling it “caution”. At best, our worry tells of what we value, and at worse it screams of what we put our faith in. The sad truth is I am unable to protect my son from the abstract absurdities of life. I can only pray over him continually, which leads me to my final point . . . .
Pray more – If you want a thriving prayer life, find what you love in this world more than yourself. I don’t believe I have ever petitioned my God more fervently and desperately than I have when my son was born. Through the wisdom of others, I try not to just settle for event prayers – Lord, keep him safe – but I pray character prayers – Lord, give him great compassion for the hurting. In a lot of ways, these are scary prayers. No one wants to raise a selfish or unsympathetic child (or a politician for that matter). There are specific traits Jesus wants to develop within us and we as parents must have the courage to pray those over the tiny humans we helped create. Even when through gritted teeth or with groaning frustration, we pray because we know the One who holds all of our tomorrows.
Matt simon blog 