Four Weeks of Fatherhood (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying And Love the Baby)

17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. – James 1:17

So it’s been four weeks since my son was born. While in some ways this feels like a lifetime, the fact that the first sentence still feels foreign to me is proof I am still proudly embracing the role of doting father. When you are expecting your first child, many will tell you what a “blessing” it is. Others will say how it is the greatest thing ever (those are the people who have undoubtedly never tried queso). All of them affectionately point out the lack of sleep you will be granted from now until the child has retired (or you pass on from this mortal coil into the eternal rest of the afterlife . . . amen).

Truth is, parenting is advertised and championed by many. You go from a well put together and functioning member of an organized society, to blindly walking into public spaces with pants massacred from the loving excrement of your son (hypothetical of course). It has been my brief but overwhelming experience that fatherhood is as advertised. When those around you speak in what seems to be hyperbole, don’t discredit them for they are attempting to put words to a kind of earthly grace. It truly is unlike anything else. Of course it could be the lack of sleep that causes my eyes to swell when I think of my son, but I know this feeling is here to stay. Things are different now as we live daily in the wake of a new life.

My head is still spinning with lessons learned over these weeks. Lessons like the majority of life doesn’t matter. Really. When raising a human person, it is easy to look past the monotony of this world. Perhaps equally as learned is the amount of fear the human heart is capable of. Again, the hospital gives you a tiny human with no owners manual (“Here’s your baby, here’s your bill, remember to get your car validated. Good luck!“).

But perhaps even greater is the amount of weight that parents are able to carry and still function. There is no off switch on this. Parents, especially single ones, are able do much more than I ever imagined pre-baby. This too is a grace from the Father of lights who remains the same regardless of circumstances.