I Made A Decision At Starbucks

20 But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. (Matthew 1:20)

I had read this passage a hundred times before, but this time it was different. There in my favorite coffeehouse chair, I was struck by it’s relevance. It was in this moment, I made a decision; no longer would I let fear dictate my decisions. I was at a crossroads in my relationship and I had to make the decision to be all in or all out. There is a certain safety in withdrawal, but if you’re not careful, that safety will mute your life in a way that is less than inspiring. Truth is, there was little I did fear as a fiercely independent millennial. Yet, past hurts and family trauma can make even the bravest of men falter.

I wonder how many of our decisions are based on fear. How often do we subtly change course because of the unknown? We often mistake fear with some grand emotion, but it is often subversive and difficult to categorize. Fear is the wall keeping us from pushing through to clarity. In Scripture, we see a God who longs to rid us of this and to use our worry as the fuel for change. Oftentimes, our fear is an indicator of what we must do – the direction we must go towards. Humanity clings to what we believe can be known, while shying away from what must be experienced. It is this that unravels us. We are fine with change as long as we can control it and restrict it’s outcome. Yet we can rarely dictate the boundaries of change. Life happens whether we restrict it or not.

Today, God is on the other side of fear. A deeper knowledge and relationship is just past the event of chaos. Begin to dream about what God could do within your dread. The God of creation wishes to refine your character but you might have to leap first.