Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. (James 4:6b-7a)
As a young married guy, I’m always in need of wisdom. It is easy to know what you have to do for a solid marriage before you get hitched. However it is a different story entirely after you say “I do”. In the past months I have received some great advice and some . . . not so great advice. This has helped me to see that “hot tips” are never as great as they appear. In fact, a great marriage has to go deeper than what you do.
Attitude Over Action
We all have had those times in which we do the right thing with the wrong attitude and it blows up in our face. This goes to a simple human principle as old as time – people hate jerks. Especially jerks who do charity. These guys are met a special brand of sighs and scorn. Yet, someone who has the right attitude can often make mistakes and find forgiveness. I have learned this the hard way in life and marriage. Often I do good to hide the bad or to buy myself relational currency that I can spend later. We so often do good to receive good. Thanks Adam.
Change “what’s wrong with them?” to “what’s wrong with me?”
Everybody loves a scapegoat. When things aren’t as they should be, we search for someone to blame (this goes back to the whole jerk thing from before). Odds are in any relationship, the majority of things that need fixed, start with you. A real change happened in my life when I realized that the people who surrounded me were my allies and not my enemies. Your friends and spouse don’t exist to make your life miserable. Odds are, they are your teammates. My friend likes to remind me of a pastor who said of this “even if you are three percent in the wrong, you are still wrong and need to own it.” What would our life and relationships look like if everyone owned up to their junk? I’m thinking we wouldn’t need many self-help books or blogs.
Let It Go
Your humanity will meet frustration daily. Constantly our feelings of how things should be are met with how they actually are. In order to have peace in this world, you have to live in the tension of brokenness. You will bump into your neighbor and they will bump into you. When this happens, may your forgiveness outlast your offense. When someone hurts you, is it worth bringing up? Is your attitude behind doing so an attempt to advance the perception of you as hero?
Matt simon blog 