“The culture says you have to be free from any obligation to really be free. The modern view of freedom is freedom from. It’s negative: freedom from any obligation, freedom from anybody telling me how I have to live my life. The biblical view is a richer view of freedom. It’s the freedom of—the freedom of joy, the freedom of realizing what I was designed to be.” – Tim Keller
Marriage intrigues and terrifies me. I fascinated to see how people willingly sign up for such an institution. Spending all your days with another person within the tight quarters of a committed relationship seems suspect. Sure, it could be due to a lack of dynamic relational examples, or it could be because I misunderstand freedom and grace.
As someone who is on the beginning of the journey of marriage, I cannot count the amount of times I have heard “marriage is work”. In the months leading up to the wedding, I have realized that yes, it is work, but it doesn’t look like we think. Marriage is built on work within my own heart. It is the quiet and soul piercing work that defines the state of spoken vows. It is laborious to look within and see what is lacking, to look deep into the mirror and see the flaws of the one looking back. While I haven’t lived long, I have lived long enough to see something is broken. The more we give ourselves up to an idea or a person, the more we find who we truly are. Our souls are made to mingle with those around us. To isolate is to extinguish our created purpose. A freedom to trumps and freedom from.
It is Hollywood’s fault really. Churning out the narratives we think we want. The ones filled with sentiment over substance. It is the true love stories, the ones rich with conflict and sacrifice, that bruise our soul and capture our imaginations. It is by giving ourselves up unburdened, that we receive the benefits of a passionate marriage. This is why the affairs of a fragmented soul fail to fulfill. Their compass is selfish and their aim is crooked.
Lord, grant us the freedom to love beyond ourselves. Release our souls to build something Christ-like. Pierce our ego and perceptions. Teach us to love on a higher plane.
Matt simon blog 