When I was young, I had a recurring dream. It involved me carefully walking into my musty dungeon style basement and running into Asian businessmen playing cards. As the smoke lingered in the darkened air, I was stunned by the sidearms openly displayed. What made this a nightmare (no, I am not scared of Asians) is that I was frozen midway in the staircase, knowing that one peep or creek in the stairs would ensure my disaster. Of course, maybe Asian businessmen don’t mind American children who ruin their perfect hand, but the movies that saturated my brain told me otherwise.
I was stuck between fear and freedom.
Fast forward to 32 year old me. It has been years since I had that dream. In fact, I rarely dream much anymore. Recently however I have found my inner thoughts pouring out as a stream of consciousness into my nap time and it involves one word: SNAKES. Everywhere like a scene from Indiana Jones. The context is always different – at a hotel, with my friends, or about to speak publicly – and out of nowhere, God’s cursed serpents. Now I have no idea what this means but maybe it represents an inner fear. In everyday life, we are forced to jump through hoops and complete tasks, but fear is always lingering behind us in the bushes. The interesting thing about these dreams is that I have never been bitten. The snake merely represents a potential danger but never holds any power besides what I allow it to have.
Perhaps we have to live with fear as an intimate friend. Giving it no control but noticing its presence in the everyday. Some will tell you to rid yourself of fear – to extinguish it at all costs. These people are misguided. It is human to fear and unnatural not to have it present in our lives. Fear is a symbol of what we need to run to for that is where our growth is waiting. Grasp the snake and hug the Yakuza. Once I heard a pastor describe fear as a sign of our real God. What we fear most, he said, was where we trust God the least. Today, find your fear and stare it down. Perhaps your greatest accomplishment is behind it’s hollow danger.
7for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control (2Timothy 1:7)
Matt simon blog 