23 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! 24 And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! (Psalm 139:23-24)
If the Lord searched you, what would he find? What a painful thought. It is so easy to hide behind our religious resume – church attendance, checks written, volunteer hours – that we forget our all too present broken nature. It is easy for me to hide behind the role of Pastor, to essentially “fake it”, in order to get people to think I am more faithful than I am. Deception is perhaps our deepest rooted trait. I feel that the writer of this Psalm knew God deeper than I do. He is probably a “professional” believer. Yet, he is still asking for the Lord to search him out. He is calling God into the dark corners of his soul, the ones he tries to hide from others, in order that he might be healed. While the work on the cross is final, it marks the beginning for us. A start of an invitation to die and be reborn.
It is easy to read something like this and be discouraged, but in the backwards call of Christ we must learn to boast in our weakness, for these are opportunities for the movement of grace. Be careful how you respond when faced with another’s public sin, for it resembles our own private sin. In the end, sin is redeemed – meaning it is used for good. Your struggle, your defeat, your broken soul is now a catalyst for the explosive movement and demonstration of love poured out by a radical savior.
The call to hide anything is from the pit of hell. Don’t bury that which the Lord uses as an instrument of grace. Today, pray this prayer with humility and courage. May the God of broken people unite you to something greater.
Matt simon blog 