This year has been interesting. I’ve been stretched and challenged in ways that surpass my current level of faith. My theology of 2015 will simply not see me through the current calendar year. Fear has found the cracks in my white knuckled doctrine and exploited every weakness.
6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)
Verses like these frustrate my humanity. They make the struggles of the everyday seem simple. If faith were easy, the foxholes of doubt would be few.
Recently I heard a pastor state commandingly that where we fear most, is also where we trust God least.
There is some truth to this but also much discomfort. When faced with my own doubt I cringe. I rather think of the pre-packaged faith that pastors are seen as having. Yet, we are are incredibly human and we are just as intimate with fear and doubt as you. I fear that our faith is as much circumstantial as it is Christ centered. But we cannot live on the mountaintop. There is a cold distance on the summit and a strange comfort in the valley. Perhaps this is where Christ is found the most – in the stinging depths of doubt. For he was a man of many sorrows. Friends abandoned him, family questioned him, and the cross was ever looming in his joy. Yet, he never changed. He was never fully given to doubt though doubt was present. Perhaps we can take comfort in knowing that the dingy paths Christ walked looked strikingly similar to our own.
Jesus, thank you for your humanity.
Matt simon blog 